Parks & Rec is not only a perfect vessel for comedy, it’s also a magnificent platter on which we have been presented with a plethora of tantalising “apps,” “tre-tre’s,” and “zerts.” We consider ourselves gourmands here, so we tend to watch shows with our eyes on the delicious prize. That being said, we have compiled a list of our fave foods from one of our fave shows. So sit back, try not to drool, and most importantly…treat yo’ self.
Waffles from JJ’s Diner
We’d pretty much trust Lesie Knope with our lives, so we trust her when she says that after friends, waffles are the next important thing in life. Serving suggestions: Dip in a vat of whipped cream, then finish the vat of whipped cream using your hands as spoons.
Tricera-Chops from Jurrasic Fork
Juicy, tender, and delicious pork chops cooked medium-roar (or medium-rare, for legal reasons) consumed in dino-themed decor that clearly spared no expense. Just remember: don’t split the bill evenly when dining with big parties.
Ben’s Low-Cal Calzone Zone Calzone
THE NAME. We fired our copywriter because she didn’t think of this first.
The East-Meets-West Patented Traeger Turkey Burger
Boasting a flavor that “tastes as good as Beyonce smells,” this asian fusion burger has it all: organic ground turkey, a toasted taleggio cheese crisp, papaya chutney, black truffle aioli, and micro greens on a gluten free brioche bun. It may be a bit pretentious and it may have lost the burger challenge, but we’d still hardcore eat it. With pinkies up, of course. Good job, Chris!
Ron’s Hamburger Made out of Meat on a Bun with Nothing
It won the burger challenge, so… we want. We very want.
The Turf and Turf
A magnificent dual meat platter featuring a 16oz T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Ron’s pairing suggestions: whiskey and a cigar. We recommend eating it while wrapped in an American flag.
The Pawnee Good Earth Salad
Ok, this one is more of a dare. The healthy-for-Pawnee option apparently consists of mostly “cheese, toffee, and gummy worms.” So, you know, diet food. Anyone?
A medieval sized turkey leg wrapped in bacon. This food is not to be eaten. It’s to be devoured. With the beauty and fervor of an exploding star.
Tom’s Chicky Chicky Parm Parm
We can only assume this top-notch “tre tre” has off-the-charts swagger. Crank DJ Roomba and enjoy.
The Meat Tornado
We know it’s a meat burrito, and that’s about all we know. But, really, need they say more?
All the Bacon and Eggs You Have
“I’m worried what you just heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, ‘Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Do you understand?”
What’s your favorite P&R menu item? Comment and let us know! But don’t drool too much because we hear water ruins keyboards.