Free Throes of Ecstasy!
Because losing sucks and we don’t want you to do it, everyone who plays this new game we made wins a discount. It could be 30% off or it could be less, but you will win a discount. And maybe some other basketball stuff too.
Lace up your gaming fingers and give it a shot now! Spoiler alert: you’re going to win a discount. The better you play, the better the discount. But again: you will win. The odds are in your favor. It’s all a sham! And you’re all winners. Of a discount.
YOU CANNOT LOSE. PLAY NOW.
Losers always whine their best; winners go home and order tater tots. Here’s where you can get those. Godspeed.