Another year, another bevy of articles purporting to know what 2011 holds for foodies nationwide. Amateur oracles spouting nonsense about newly discovered wonder-grains, the future of popcorn, the triumph of pie, finally, over what had seemed to be an unbreakable international cupcake conglomerate. Will it be another banner year for pork belly? Will the beloved acai berry’s name be sullied by a new study refuting the claims of yesteryear? Click here to read more, ad infinitum.
Lists are so 2010
Here’s the part that I don’t get – what’s the point? For one, there’s zero accountability. What if the widely reported forthcoming domination of smoked cumin never materializes? Those writers just get to throw it back on their list for 2012 (it would be a nice touch in that End of Days chili). Two, have we all become so bland as to derive satisfaction from the speculative lists that pepper the Internet every other day? If today’s lead article on the Yahoo! homepage is the barometer, the answer to that is a resounding yes. And since when are lists of items that may or may not be coming soon to a menu near you a suitable replacement for, you know, actual content? But I digress.
Perhaps this whole post is a continuation of my penchant to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian, but I would rather celebrate the Apple Jacks philosophy of the mid ‘90s. I simply eat what I like. Which is my way of introducing my own now-dubiously hypocritical version of the “food trend” list. I’m dubbing it “Foods I Want to Eat in the New Year,” and it’s at least as boring as I am.
Eat what you like
For starters, I intend to eat more hot dogs. This jives with a consensus popular prediction for the upcoming year. We’re all going to be eating more hot dogs. I hope to encounter lasagna at least twice. Based on my research, no one wants lasagna in 2011. They’d rather have miniature loaves of bread. Okay – their loss. There will be a minimum of one platter per season of fish n’ chips from Chicago’s Owen & Engine (no delivery from this joint – you’ll actually have to dine in). And I am committing myself right now, in this very public way, to visiting two breweries that have been on my list for eons: Great Lakes in Cleveland and Bell’s in Kalamazoo. If time permits, I’ll even teach myself to bake bread, which I guess isn’t too far off the trend of men in the kitchen that appeared on every list I saw.
From there, I have no further intentions save to eat whatever looks or smells good. That’s the trend I followed in 2010. That’s the trend I’ve followed all 27 years of my life. And I might be bitter towards generic content on the Internet, but aside from that, I think I came out all right. Besides, as grunge purists could attest, bucking a trend is a necessary precursor to a new trend. And so I implore you all, ignore the lists. Eat what you like.