Let’s face it: Not everyone loves turkey. Whether it’s your vegan sister, your gluten-free grandma, or your crotchety cousin who has gone uber-paleo and plans on surviving the Thanksgiving break on dried cranberries and candied walnuts, we all know someone who makes Thanksgiving dinner that much more fun (read: difficult) for the folks actually making it. Alas, if you must satisfy these loved ones to the fullest, while carefully avoiding all mention of the words “traditional turkey dinner,” here are our recommended main courses that you can swap in to seamlessly replace the big bird as the centerpiece entree:
For The Pescatarian Who Loves Omega 3s: Seared Ahi Tuna Steaks.
For The Vegetarian On The Moral High-Ground: Tofurkey! (This is the one time a year when it’s permissible!)
For The Freegan: Whatever they can find…
For The Gluten-Freegan: Phew, a gluten-free turkey and gravy is possible!
For The Paleo Preacher: Venison Medallions with Port and Cranberry. (Speared himself with a bow and arrow of course, and then carried on his shoulder, raw, into your home!)
For The Kosher Character & The Halal Homeslice: Apple Turkey Pita Pockets.
For The Calorie-Counting Diva: Turkey and Rice Soup.
For The Mediterranean Diet Practitioner: Turkey Kofte Kebabs.
For The One Who’s Still On Atkins: Bacon-Wrapped Turkey.
For The One Who Just Returned From The Subcontinent: Turkey Curry.
If Paula Deen Comes To Dinner: Deep-Fried Turkey.
If Dean Martin Comes To Dinner: Martin Burgers.
And remember, if you find yourself in a Turkey Emergency this year, tons of Seamless restaurants are ready, willing, and able to deliver you turkey or other alternatives for this Thursday’s feast!