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What If Food Delivery Existed In The 7 Kingdoms?

Sometimes winter and White Walkers prove problematic for Smallfolk when looking to acquire dinner — so what if DELIVERY existed in The 7 Kingdoms? We did some warging (a la Bran) to figure out just how this would all go down. Let’s explore.

What food would it be?

Meat lovers, you’re in luck. Topping the majority of the menus in The 7 Kingdoms are favorites like lamb, chicken, and rabbit. If you’re a vegetarian, opt for some deviled (dragon) eggs or if you’re leaning more towards pescatarian, go with oysters. Looking for fresh greens or fruit? Better get your fix before winter is here. Oh and don’t forget lemon cakes for dessert.

How long would it take?

Each kingdom is its own delivery zone. If you want to order outside of your delivery zone or outside of your kingdom, expect to cough up some serious Gold Coins. As far as expected delivery times? If you’re ordering from King’s Landing and The Reach, we can have your order to you in a matter of hours. However, if you’re ordering from Winterfell or beyond The Wall, the average delivery window will be between two and five days. Don’t worry, your delivery method will be well equipped to withstand any elements, dragon fire, and White Walkers.

How would you put your order in?

Raven is the name of the game here, people. Pull out a scroll, check in on the seasonal options, then write your order down and send your raven. Your delivery confirmation should be back within 12 to 24 hours, again in the form of raven, with a scroll reading ‘Dinner is coming”.

What are some special menu items you can get in specific kingdoms?

As you can imagine, every menu is seasonal. If you’re ordering from Dorne, be sure to snag some wine and seafood — a great pairing in their region. Placing a delivery order from King’s Landing or Casterly Rock? Get ready for an exceptional assortment of chicken and pheasant. If you’re looking to cure a sweet tooth, Highgarden can deliver on some seriously tasty lemon cakes. And for the meat eaters out there — your best bet at a filling meal is in Winterfell. Oh, and don’t forget Dragonstone. They serve up a delicious breakfast of deviled eggs.

How will the food get to you?

There are three options: by foot, by horseback, or by dragon. If you’re ordering from outside your delivery zone, boat is also an option. Disclaimer: orders not guaranteed to be intact if sent by dragon. We all know there is a war going on — keep in mind that during these hard times, orders are often intercepted by armies on land and sea. In those cases, consider your order a reflection of your allegiance.

So how does tipping work?

If your delivery arrives late, don’t be afraid to call customer service. Fair warning it’s a team of Dothraki — so be patient. If you’re pleased with your order and delivery, throw a few Copper Pennies their way. For especially superior service, a shard or two of dragon glass will go a long way.

Now you’ll be happy to learn that delivery to your house here in the real world is far faster, has much more variety, and it won’t require any ravens — but it goes perfectly with the finale of your favorite show.

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